One of the surprise gifts of loneliness is the gift of time. Time gives us a chance to deepen our spiritual work. We actually have a half hour to pray or meditate or read scriptures. In the ensuing calmness, we can ask ourselves what needs doing so we won't feel lonely. What can we do that isn't dependent on a partner agreeing with our decision? We can volunteer, make new friends, write a poem or song. When we combine clarity about our values with spiritual work, it is difficult to be lonely. Once the women in Buddha's time began to devote themselves to spiritual work, they didn't speak of loneliness again. There was no room for it.
In days filled with chores related to Still Point, a Zen Buddhist Temple located in the heart of Detroit, I can't imagine being lonely. Instead, I crave quiet time where I can simply sit in meditation, feeling its deep grounding and sweet energy. While I'm pleased to have company when I do, I'm as happy being alone. I expect that you'll find the same truth. The more you nurture who you really are, the less you'll need other people. Instead, you'll enjoy and cherish them when they are with you and enjoy the quiet of aloneness when they are not.
...from Chapter Eight The Gift of Bone-Deep Loneliness in Love Dharma: Relationship Wisdom from Enlightened Buddhist Women by P'arang Geri Larkin
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