I have been listening to an audio version of The Power of Now. It is one of those rare books that can change your life if you let it.
Just yesterday I listened to the author explain why the statement "I think , therefore I am" is a fallacy. It is not because we think... It is despite the fact that we think. But we do not know this.
Even after a few years of Buddhist study and fledgling practice... I know this concept has been presented to me, but I can't say I ever did more than intellectualize it. Somehow, Tolle's delivery helped me to internalize it... to experience the truth in the words instead of simply going through the physiological process of hearing the words.
Lately I've felt that this blog is just a historical record of my noisy, complaining and self-indulgent mind. I've felt that something was in my way... that though I've been sincere about my desire to practice and grow in that practice, something stopped me from going deep. Something stopped me from developing the consistent discipline of daily practice.
Perhaps it was because my noisy mind was in control... it presented itself as something that wanted to achieve something but it has often had ulterior motives. Mostly, it just wants to keep talking... to keep making noise and it doesn't seem to care if the noise is judgmental or paniced or logical or empowering or the pseudo deep ramblings of a spiritual seeker.
My noisy mind doesn't care if I ever experience enlightenment. It is satisfied as long as I can simply blather on about it and myriad other things. It actually comes up with strategies to keep me from my practice and it is skilled at coming up with reasons to avoid the activities that have the power to silence it.