Daily Dharma

A Native American grandmother was talking to her grandson about how she felt.

She said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry, violent. The other wolf is loving and compassionate."

The grandson asked her "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?"

The grandmother answered, "The one I feed."

[...quoted in Zencast No. 6 - Mindfulness and Peace by Gil Fronsdal (Source Unknown)]

Well, Yes and No...

Interesting. The week after I wrote my previous post on work and "legitimate complaints," I had a better week. For me I find that just thinking about how I approach something, and questioning my approach puts me in a different frame of mind about the issue at hand.

Scott asked:

Is there a difference here between an observation and blame? Which of these two is meant by "complaint"? Are you noticing what can be improved, or are you expending energy on reliving your anger/resentment at those who made the decisions which were... unwise?

My response? Honestly Scott, a little of both at the time. I think what I was trying to point to was how futile and self-serving the process of complaining can be. I think there is a true difference between complaint and constructive criticism. And I was leaning more towards complaint.

After writing that post, I was able to step back a bit and see things from more angles than that of my ego-mind that wants everything to be set up in life to make me comfortable. I could see that perhaps there is not so much blame in the situation... I could acknowledge, perhaps, that there have been attempts to change the situation even if that change is not happening at the rate that would make me happiest.

A while ago, a friend of mine was telling me about this list on work by Bishop T.D. Jakes called "How to Work in Any Environment". For those unfamiliar, T.D. Jakes is a well known bishop and household name for most African-Americans. What I was perhaps reaching for in my questioning was a similar Buddhist-like pearl of wisdom. In his first list item, Jakes says:

Don't expect to be appreciated. Your only expectation should be to get a paycheck.

When it comes down to it, I think most of us go to work because we need to get paid in order to manage our lives. Most of us aren't independently wealthy and can't afford to live if we don't have steady income. While we would all like to have work be a pleasant place, it isn't always necessarily going to be pleasant all of the time. But at the end of the day (or two week period for most) if you get to cash a check, are you really a victim?

There were so many great points made in the comments on this one... I won't rehash them all, I'll just say thank you to everyone who responded... You gave me much food for thought... some of which I'm still chewing on.

I think the key in all of this for me is something I heard in a Zencast podcast. We can engage friends or hindrances in any moment, and those that we feed most have the most space to grow. In any moment, you can feed complaint or gratitude. Gratitude, I'm finding, creates space for a zen practice while complaint clutters that space.