Everybody Just Calm Down

I listen to MItch Albom a lot when I'm riding home from work. I think it was one day last week when Mary Pipher was on talking about her lastest book, Writing to Change the World. It's on my wishlist with about a million other books. I'll get to it some time. Mary also wrote Reviving Ophelia, a book that I need to revisit soon. My daughter seems to grow in leaps and bounds despite my attempts to make her slow down just a little. Despite my protests, she is entering adolesence with swiftness and while it both frightens me and pleases me to see her grow up in this age, that's a conversation I'll save for another day.

While discussing her new book, Mary talked about stress:

...The world is more stressful now. In fact, the world right now for Americans is as stressful as it's ever been. When I make speeches now I say I've never in my 30 years of being a therapist seen Americans more stressed. Then I ask if anyone disagrees with me and no hands go up.

My hand certainly wouldn't go up. I've been through some extremely stressful events in my life... some traumatic experiences (for real). But despite all of those past events which I would think would've taken more out of me, I seem to have been more stressed these last six months than I've been in my entire life. I can't figure it out. People drone on about all the reasons we all have to be stressed, and they're probably right... the state of the economy, the dwindling job market, prices at the pump, uncertainty about the future... especially living here in Metro Detroit and working in the automotive sector. Everyone's scared they're going to lose their job. Everyone's working harder. Everyone's nerves are frayed. And it spills over from work life to home life and can make for a big mess.

I'm sure there's a study in a journal somewhere that talks about the causal relationship between stress and depression. I know I've had my bouts lately, and I look around and see depressed people all around me. At least two people I've talked to in the past two weeks have openly used the word in conversation... that word we don't even want to admit we know... because it hangs there in the air around us like this thick, black smoke that overcomes us and chokes us and despite our desire to breathe we can't find clean air anywhere.

A few weeks ago, I blew the dust off of Cheri's book. No sexy title... it's called The Depression Book and it talks about how to look deeply into depression and use it as a vehicle for practice. I find that I don't really read this book the way I read her others. I can pick up a Cheri Huber book and read it from cover to cover in a single sitting, but not this one. I pick this one up when I need to read it... when I KNOW I'm depressed. I read a few pages and I put it down because she's stepping on all my toes. I'm putting myself to bed in a few. I'm tired tonight. But I'm going to commit to some serious study and reflection this weekend. I'm going to read this book. I know that I need to, and I know I'm not the only one.

If you've been feeling it lately too and just sitting in it... if you feel your blood pressure on the rise... if you notice your adrenaline spiking... if you are anesthetizing yourself with too much food, too much television, too much escapist activity I want to say it's time to take a breath now. It's time to return to center, chill out and just calm down. Look at the frenzy you've worked yourself into. Just look at it and own it. Uncertainty is all around us forever. There's nothing really all that special about today, this month, this year. Stressors are real and they are everywhere but "being stressed" is a decision. Let's all of us just stop making that decision.