Greatest Attainment

In the beginning of a book called Achieving Balance, there is a quote by Melodie Beattie from The Language of Letting Go. Melanie says:

Rest when you're tired.
Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty.
Call a friend when you're lonely.
Ask God for help when you feel overwhelmed.

Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect
ourselves. Many of us have learned to push
ourselves hard, when the problem is that we've already
pushed too hard. Many of us are afraid the work
won't get done if we rest when we're tired.

The work will get done; it will be done better than
work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit.

Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and
care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.
They are well-timed, efficient, and Divinely led.

This reminds me of a previous Daily Dharma entry that quotes Layman Pang. Pang speaks of his greatest attainment. It sounds simple, but the more time that passes as I take this journey into zen, the more I get what a challenge it can be.

Recently I've been forced to look at the ways I push myself and how often I put off doing things that would refuel me. One realization I had over the holidays was the simple understanding that the shackles of business, hurriedness, and overwhelm I have viewed as natural byproducts of this modern, fast-paced life we live are shackles I have taken on... not because I'm forced to but because I choose to.

Yes, I have to get up and go to work every day if I want to feed my family and have a place to live. It's not the getting up and going to work... It's not the commute... It's not the people I work with... It's not the eleven hours I have to give away Monday through Friday... No. None of these things are the source of my overwhelm when I'm overwhelmed. The problem is simply that I won't always sleep when I'm tired, and I don't always eat when I'm hungry. I won't always drink when I'm thirsty, and I don't always perform my practice faithfully.

Between delusion and diligence there is a choice. The wise choices, like warm mittens on cold days, take care of everything. The poor choices tear us apart. Knowing that daily meditation practice can enhance your life accounts for nothing if you know but you still don't sit. Knowing that a certain diet will take good care of your body, guard against illness, shed excess weight and improve your energy levels accounts for nothing if you know but you still go for junk food every chance you get.

I'm in the process of reviewing old tapes of the Franklin Time Management Seminar that was distributed circa 1989. In it, time management guru Hyrum Smith discusses what he calles the productivity triquation. He suggests that there is a cyclical relationship between event control, productivity and self-esteem. What does this mean? When event control decreases, productivity decreases. When productivity decreases, self-esteem plunges. Low self-esteem perpetuates ambivalence about time management, and the cycle continues. On the other hand, when we manage our discretionary time well, our productivity increases as do our feelings of self-worth.

So many people I know are waiting for something to happen so they can feel better about themselves and their lives. They are waiting for that right person, that right job, that right relationship, that right car, that right salary, that right child, that right house, that right number on the scale, that right dress or pant size... This lecture series reminds me that achieving high self-esteem and avoiding overwhelm are simple matters that are under our control. We just need the diligence to do two things every day... We need to decide what's important and do it faithfully. This is my focus right now.

Comments

[Bill Gardner]

If it's any help, I have been using David Allen's Getting Things Done for about two years. It's made a big, positive difference for me.
Bill

[angel]

This is so true and it definately applies to me as well. I must admit that I have gotten better about sleeping when my body tells me to sleep and that's a big thing for me. Most of us in the western world are cultured to believe that sleep is synonymous with laziness, nonproductivity, etc. We think that we are "missing out" or "neglecting" some greater responsibility by simply taking to our beds for rest. We do not make the obvious connection between rest and rejuvenation. We say it but we hardly see the connection. Understanding the "siesta" that people in many other countries engage in on a daily basis has helped me to value my rest in a new way, but what I still need to work on is getting past the initial guilt I feel as I pull up the blanket, the feeling that my novel won't get done or the project I'm working on won't materialize.

Also, I think we live so much by comparison -- we want to get 'such and such' done because we feel like failures if we don't and at the root of feeling like a failure is the comparison of "what I'm doing" vs. "what others have done or are managing to get done." I think when we live by our own markers we are far less likely to feel that sense of non-accomplishment.

ANGEL

[Rex H.]

I'm glad I found this site. I will be checking it regularly

[Michael]

Beautiful quote and timely inspiration.
Thank you for your generous website and creativity.

I am curious, who is the author of the book you mention, Achieving Balance.
I would really appreciate learning more about this book.

thank you,

Michael

[NEBANKH]

On one hand I hate to burst your disillusional bubble; on the other hand you need to be really congratulated and admire if you can find peace in the world of today and still be productive if you are Black. Here are some truth, there are half man-half beast monsters who task it is to deprive people of their soul(mind)and to pervert it;they may do this with a smile and wink. It is part of the law and nature in which they are made. See www.pyramidoftruth.com and listen to pyramid of truth at www.live365.com

[chalip]

Bill, thanks for the suggestion. I might just check it out. Truth be told, though, I have plenty of time management resources on hand. The challenge is putting them into practice consistently.

Angel, I think you touch on a really important point. The day you posted your comment, a girlfriend of mine was talking about how guilty she felt for just chilling out and watching TV (almost) all day long. I'm also with you on comparisons. That guilt comes from somewhere... it's not that we feel bad for sitting down... we feel bad for sitting down when so-and-so is standing up, or running a marathon.

Rex, thanks for the sentiment. I hope to see you around.

Michael, Achieving Balance was a pamphlet/book published by Franklin Covey in 1999. It doesn't have an ISBN. It contains a series of questionnaires, quotes and worksheets designed to help you create ways to incorporate renewal into daily life. It's based on the 7th Habit (from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People).

NEBANKH, thanks for stopping by. You are entitled to your opinions. I'll just say I disagree and leave it at that.

[Lisa]

Lovely site. I feel guilty if I'm doing "nothing" - It's hard to convice yourself that rest and sleep is actually something wothwhile! If you try and get more than 7 hours sleep someone tells you you are lazy and if you stay in and watch TV people tell you you are boring!