Stop Whining

I've been getting in touch with the fact that I'm holding on to upsets. I'm upset because I choose to be. I don't let go of my upsets because I don't want to. This practice... holding on... directly clashes with what Intensive Practice requires of me... a thing called Gratitude practice.

Gratitude practice is simple on the surface. All you have to do is lie in bed and think about what you are grateful for as you fall asleep. Sounds really easy, doesn't it? It's only easy if one condition is true... if you are not holding on to anger, hatred, or upset. It can be easier to follow the upset, easier to fuel the hatred, and easier to stoke the anger than it is to sit for five minutes and think about everything you have to be thankful for.

My message to myself lately has been "Gosh, Chalip... Stop whining." It's not sexy. It's not even cute. I'm getting to the point where I can see my whining mind and just notice it... being present to the fact that I am having an internal tantrum. Then I remind myself there is another way... a way that champions loving-kindness and compassion. I can't say that I gush with pink, happy energy at that point. I can't say that I become a perfect poster child for love and peace. But I notice that I'm whining less today than I was a week ago. I notice that I notice when that switch flips in my head that wants to autoplay my complaints. I notice that my complaints and upsets are on autoplay and autoreverse... it's the same stuff over and over again.

I admit it... on days when I've had a good day for my practice... when I've done everything else on the list... I often forget to do Gratitutde practice. I fall into bed and I just forget about it. In order to stop whining and start touching gratitude, I need to get active.