« It's All in the Dhammapada | Main | Katrina's Lesson of Impermanence »



I used to be almost constantly disappointed with others: my friends, my family, my colleagues, etc.

At some point (which had nothing to do with Buddhism per se) I just realized I had all these mental ideals of what I wanted others to be. And they were so impossible that, of course, I felt disappointed so often!

Right now I am in a new relationship with a woman. I like her quite a bit, and would like it to last for a while. I try hard to be present; to see her for who she is, which is far better than any different portrait than might exist in the imagination or speculation.

I know it's quite different and quite difficult to do this with someone you're interested in. But I feel that if I had more of this mindset in the past, I'd have better perceived where things were going, and not going. I'd have avoided a lot of embarassment, suffering, and resentment, and also kept in touch with more people.


I hear you, Jeff. I tend to find that most often when I'm upset with other people the upset is because of some notion or expectation that I have... It's really often not the "other people."


I like how this series has started out. I think Buddhism has been often misunderstood as a nihilistic path because so much emphasis is seemingly placed on stripping away notions of the self. It's really about stripping away illusions about the self, and others, and our relationships with others. Of course, new illusions take their places (unless we've become enlightened). Being able to catch oneself in the process of projecting an illusion upon another, and thusly upon oneself, is a worthwhile goal. Thank you for this suggested exercise. I will certainly try it.


Thanks, Tor...

I hope to get back to this series soon.

Exercises like this are my way of reminding myself that despite the hours I've spent in sitting meditation I can still be a judgmental bitch. It's important to me to just "keep it real" and realize that doing this practice doesn't make me saintly, tolerant, or even nice 100% of the time. While I have moments of compassion, generosity, and genuine attempts to be of help... I also have moments of judgment, greed, and genuine relapses into apathy.

The comments to this entry are closed.