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My Daughter the Buddha

This year we will have the first Precepts Ceremony for children at Still Point. I have been attending Sunday services for just over a year now, and completed the ceremony myself last year. Now, my daughter wants to do it. She is eight years old.

I've been really curious about why she wants to take the precepts. I expected her to do it (if she ever did it) when she was much older. It is important to me that I don't cram my religious/spiritual beliefs down her throat... that she understands the significance of the choice... and that she owns it. We talked about it during dinner tonight.

'Why do you want to take the precepts," I ask.

"For lots of reasons. I can't list them all it would take an hour." she says.

"Well, tell me as many as you can while we finish eating dinner," I say.

"Well, mostly because I want to be just like you, Mom."

I smile. I'm stunned. That was probably the last thing I expected to hear her say. I look at myself in my role as mother with a lot of criticism and self-doubt. Most of the time, I think I'm at best an average parent. I always think I should be doing more. When it comes down to it, I want to be just like my daughter.

She's so generous. When we go to Sunday services, she goes to what she calls the kid's room. She packs a bag with crafts or toys and snacks and is very consientious about packing enough for everyone to share. She's nice to everyone. She's lighthearted and has a healthy respect for fun and play. I feel very old and boring and closed standing next to my daughter.

We start to talk about religion.

"Your spiritual practice, your religious beliefs... you really have to believe them for yourself. We should talk about the precepts before you make your final decision. Becoming a Buddhist means that you want to be like Buddha... that you want to follow his example. What does that mean to you?"

"Is it like in the Buddha books... like how he went away and got rid of all his hair?" [she's talking about the manga series by Osamu Tezuka]

"Well, you don't have to be a monk... and you don't have to cut off your hair. But you vow to do certain things... not to do other things. That's what the precepts are... they are vows. When you take them, you say what you stand for... what you are committed to..."

Our plan is to talk about the precepts during dinner every night, and to do as many bows as we can in preparation for the ceremony. I'm looking forward to these talks.

When Sitting Doesn't Cut It

Lots of people are dealing with anger and frustration lately. I've been frustrated myself lately on the subject of money and right livelihood. Thinking about my own situation, and recent blog entries by Jeff and Corax, brings to mind a Buddhist conundrum:

Buddhist practice is not about being peaceful and calm all the time.

When we are not peaceful and calm, it is hard to engage in Buddhist practice.

Sometimes, I have to get active with my suffering, frustration, anger, craving, or pain. Bows (prostrations) are a fundamental part of practice in Korean Zen (and many other traditions). I have found that 1,000 prostrations can break through almost anything. When they don't, the prescription is always 1,000 more (repeat ad nauseam until you just get over it).

Another practice that I've found helpful is dictation... write a particular sutra or passage over and over until you feel better... I've done it myself, and I've seen a couple of applications of this recently...

  1. At Still Point, we love art. I noticed there was something new on the wall a couple of Sunday's ago. Getting close to it, I could read some handwritten words that looked very familiar... I asked my teacher about it... "It's the Sutra on Lovingkindness..." she said, "Someone sent it to us. She said she she wasn't feeling good so she wrote it over and over until she felt better." Now, it's art. Talk about transforming suffering...
  2. In the film I watched today (sorry, I guess I am giving some of it away), there is a scene where a man returns to the temple where he was raised... angered and suffering about a recent act. While he is ranting, his teacher paints the Prajnaparamita Sutra on the wooden floor then tells him to take his knife and carve out the words, explaining that the sutra helps to restore peacefulness. He carves all night and collapses. He awakens the next morning transformed.

This passage from Jeff's post reminded me of something:

I felt bottled up, so one night I wrote in my private (offline) journal a long list of my nasty thoughts and desires. [some content snipped] I thought it’d be a nice cathartic release to write this stuff. But it didn’t make me feel any better. I put it away.

A long time ago, I read a book called The Artist's Way. It suggests that we need to dump all of our whining, angry, suspicious, fearful, grasping, disturbed thoughts into a journal every morning in order to carve out space for creativity to unfold. I can't say that I ever connected to the method. While I get the point... that it is supposed to be cathartic... to me, concentrating on the inner cesspool doesn't pull me anywhere but down. Instead, I pour myself into a different practice.

Sometimes it's not sitting. Sometimes sitting doesn't cut it because I'm too wound up to do it. Sometimes I attempt it but instead of focusing on breath or mantra or kong'an I can't kick whatever is bugging me out of my head. When I'm in this place, I have to do something else. Bows, dictation... these are some of the things I do (unless I'm really, really resistant... in which case I practice "avoidance" and "complaint" until I get really sick of myself and then I practice).

Online Again...

Being away from the blogosphere for most of the week, I missed out on some great stuff. Tom, editor of Zen Unbound, catalogued much of what I missed in a new Zen/Ch'an Digest called Blogmandu Roundup. Great stuff, Tom... thanks for doing this (and for Zen Unbound, and for Tasty LInks, and for just being you... you are appreciated).

My computer died on me recently, so I'm out and about trying to collect some of the resources I lost. There used to be a Kwan Um affiliated sangha called Ocean Eyes Zen Center that posted lots of great information on Korean Zen, including some of the foundational chants (the Great Compassion Dharani, Yae Bul, the Thousand Hands and Eyes Sutra, the Heart Sutra, etc.) in RealAudio format. While I can't say for certain what happened to Ocean Eyes, it seems that there is some restructuring going on. Remembering that the chants were performed by the Golden Wind Zen Group, I Google searched and found their site, which then led me to i-Sangha.

If you're interested in hearing what Korean Zen chant sounds like, you can download the Golden Wind Zen Group chants from i-Sangha. I don't have any of the chants memorized yet, so I chant along with these recordings. You will have to ask them to make you a "member" instead of a "novice", in order to access the downloads.

I-Sangha is an online sangha... chat rooms, message boards, the works. I haven't posted to the boards yet, but I've lurked a bit. There's an interesting thread on the Korean Zen teaching on no-self. The forums certainly have topics that cover a broad spectrum, but this is a new community so it will take time to grow. If you aren't practicing with a sangha and want to ask an ordained teacher a question, this is one place you could go.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring

I watched an amazing film this afternoon called Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring. This Korean film with English subtitles has many themes... coming of age, rites of passage, working through lust and craving, working through anger, working with a teacher, becoming a teacher, suffering, its end. I'm not going to spoil it for you if you want to see it... but I highly recommend it.

Brokenness and Wholeness

This morning, my inbox delivered a surprise:

I don't want to be presumptuous, but I thought you might appreciate listening to Seth Castleman talking about "Brokenness to Wholeness" here: http://www.audiodharma.org/talks-all.html. I certainly did. Scroll to near the bottom to listen to the 11/11/01 talk.

This dharma talk, delivered in the aftermath of 9/11 by an amazing young man who stood at ground zero for families, firefighters, survivors, victims, everyone... and served as clergyman, counselor, or company in among the most wounded places in  American history, discusses the spiritual path as a search for wholeness and looks at wholeness and brokenness in our lives and in the world.

Seth said several things that stick with me (paraphrased in bold text, followed by my comments).

Evil people vs. "the rest of us". We can't draw a line between the two.

Coming off of a study of the Wheel of Life, this was really powerful to hear. No matter who you are, if you haven't transcended the cycle of life, death and rebirth, Mara has you by the clutches. Mara has you by the teeth. We are all moving between the six realms... whether in the course of a lifetime, or in the course of a day... we all experience the grasping of the realm of hungry ghosts, the suffering of the human realm, the indulgence of the realm of gods, the jealousy of the asura realm, the pain of the hell realm, the fight-or-flight of the animal realm. Making distinctions between "evil" people and "good" people is irrelevant in this context... we are all stuck... we are all ensnared. Buddhism says that we are all in the same boat, no matter what our labels are, so it is a waste of time to label and judge. It doesn't get us where we want to go.

Brokenness does not necessarily lead to Insight... there is always the possibility, but it is not inevitable.

Like the second innermost circle on the Wheel of Life, we are either ascending or descending. Whether we ascend or descend as a result of our challenges is a choice that we all make. Will we be like the lotus, blossoming in the muddy water, or will we sink into the silt of life? This remains to be seen... every day. The broken moments of our lives can be a great motivating factor... it is up to us what we do with that motivation.

If we really want to help others, we have to approach them with no agenda. We must care more about them than about changing them, helping them, fixing them or feeling that we know anything.

I feel like people are trying to change me all the time. I don't feel particularly helped by it. I try to remember this when I want to be of service to someone. To do so, I have to set aside the "what's in it for me" and just be there for a person because I care. To be there means to listen... to understand that people are moved when they are heard. This is why teenagers are so quiet... so pent up... people are always talking at them instead of listening to them.

This is an awesome dharma talk. Next time you find yourself with a spare hour, check it out if the mood strikes you.

Wheel of Life

Wheel200Today I learned about a Buddhist publication from Australia called Gentle Voice: A Newsletter of Siddhartha's Intent. The past two issues (available online) provide articles on the symbolism of the Wheel of Life. I'm reading them now. I also found a site that provides shorter descriptions of each section of the work online (Firefox users, this doesn't work in our browser... you have to use IE). If you've ever wanted to learn more about the Wheel of Life, these resources might be of help.

Meeting Faith

Sunday was the best day! It all started with the Dharma talk at Still Point delivered by Faith Adiele (pronounced Ah dee eh lay) on her recently published memoir Meeting Faith: The Forest Journals of a Black Buddhist Nun.

Meetingfaith_2Reading her book, I was never quite sure where anthropology ended and spirituality began. Faith is clear about the fact that she chose the path of ordination more to resurrect her academic career after a failed semester at Harvard than for any other reason. She mentions that she was raised Unitarian, and that religion was important in her upbringing mainly as cultural information.

It is simply amazing that she moved from being a person who had never meditated before in her life to being planted in the forest practicing in one of the most challenging traditions on the planet for up to fourteen hours a day. It was clear that she took her commitment seriously. She didn't leave or crumble under the pressure whereas other temple visitors did.

Listening to her speak on her life, her family, her work, and this time in her life was a gift and a joy. At the end of her talk we were provided with opportunities to ask questions. I don't know that it would be appropriate for me to transcribe and publish her talk in its entirety. As an alternative, I'm hoping it's okay to share my question and her thoughtful, inspiring response:

Chalip: Through reading your book I was really curious about what you carried from your experience in Thailand into your daily life. Do you still meditate? Are there any parts of the practices that you learned or that you did there that you're still doing? How has it informed who you are right now?

Faith: That again has been a journey as well... Sometimes I go in and out... When I first came back it was very painful for me to meditate because I just wasn't someone who had had a practice here and then had intensified it there... I only knew crazy overachieving multi-tasking American life and then total ordination in an intensive meditation retreat center and so when I came back I didn't know how to put the two together. I was very, very overwhelmed. The best I could do in sitting meditation in America was to maybe not kill my boss that week. That was it in terms of peacefulness. But I would be sad because I knew I could be going so much deeper doing all this other stuff [from] before so I looked for other things... yoga, art work... other things that kind of brought my implements in. I would say the biggest shift for me was how I did my political work. Whereas before I think there had been a sense of urgency and outrage and being wounded and doing it out of "I'm really in pain about the injustices in the world," and "This is why we need to do stuff," and "You're not as committed as I am, there's something wrong with you..." I was just going to burn myself out, so learning to shift and to do that sort of work out of love and out of trying to connect with people who were different from me, trying to find a way to be politically active that's sustaining and so that you are imagining a better world so you're not doing it out of despair but out of love, peace and joy... So that was easier to do, to return to politics but in a mindful way rather than have the focus be on spirituality. And then there was a time when I had to put my art first. Like, was I going to continue to run non-profits and try to write on the weekends, give up all my vacations, get up at 5:00 in the morning and try to write and always feel that I wasn't doing enough for the cause... Or could I trust myself enough to believe that through writing I could be contributing to the world and that that was my political and social mission. So at some point I had to put the writing first, the art first, and then learn how to do that in a mindful way... How can you find spirituality in your artistic work or in how you care for people. There was a a moment then when I had to go through my Rolodex and say "Who feeds me/who doesn't feed me," who do I really want to take care of. Because, as your friends get older they go through harder things with their parents. There was a time earlier this year when I was cooking for five people in my town because they had all lost parents... so I'm rushing home, making casserole... making casserole... driving around town... so you have to decide where you want to put your efforts. it's always ongoing trying to remind myself what I learned, that I do have power, and then where I want to put that energy. Since writing the book, the opportunities for sitting have come back. Again, because there are more people there's not just Tina Turner now there's a whole bunch of us... So I've been able to come back to that which is a really fantastic benefit from the book that I hadn't expected.

I loved this response for several reasons... Hearing Faith speak, you get the sense that her temporary ordination was just something she did a long time ago that was somewhat embarrassing and that she didn't talk about it for a long time. It seems that her current experience (writing the book, speaking about it) is very empowering... at least I hope it is.

I also loved what she said because really we all just need to know that wherever we are with our practice is okay. We might go off for a weekend retreat then find it hard to bring that practice back to our daily lives... But meditation is really only one way to practice... Being Buddhist is not just about sitting in lotus position contemplating breath, mantra, or mindfulness. We can give of ourselves and make a difference in so many ways. It's really true... It's all a matter of where we want to place our focus and where we want to put our energy.

Zen Master Huey

Catching up on The Boondocks, I just read Tuesday's strip (click to enlarge)...

Zenmasterhuey_1

There are times when my mind is running non-stop... when I'm sitting, trying to focus on my breath (or mantra... whatever I'm practicing with). It all starts the same way...

"Y'Know, I was thinkin'"

In these moments, it's nice to get jolted back to the matter at hand. Usually, it's just me in my room... sitting on my zafu realizing that my mind is "out there" and patiently reeling it back in. It doesn't hurt to have a little help from our friends. Right on, Zen Master Huey.

Who Was Seeking Serenity?

Jeff's recent post on ZenDiary.org got me thinking... I've known for some time that the author of the Serenity Prayer was Reinhold Neibuhr, but I've never known anything about him. Here's a brief biography (clipped from Biography.com/Copyright 2004 by Crystal Reference):

Protestant theologian, born in Wright City, Missouri, USA. The son of a clergyman and brother of theologian Helmut Richard Niebuhr, he was educated at Elmhurst College (Illinois), Eden Theological Seminary (Missouri), and the Yale Divinity School. Initially a theological liberal and an active Socialist, his experience as pastor of working-class Bethel Evangelical Church in Detroit (1915–28) gradually turned his thinking in a rightward direction, towards what he called Christian realism. He questioned the adequacy of the Christian ‘gospel of love’ in a world of conflict, criminality, and totalitarianism; given human nature, the stern doctrines of sin and repentance were essential. By the end of World War 2 he had entirely shed his earlier Socialism, and he roundly condemned totalitarian Communism. Professor of Christian ethics (1928–60) and dean (1950–60) at Union Theological Seminary, he wrote Moral Man and Immoral Society (1932), Faith and History (1949), Structures of Nations and Empires (1959), and many other books. In his later years he was America's best-known serious theologian, who managed to combine his sombre, almost existential philosophy with a concern for contemporary political and social issues.

A bit more research uncovered this article about the use of the Serenity Prayer in AA and a look into it's origins. Among the cited sources, you'll find a Roman philosopher (Boethius) and a German professor (Dr. Theodor Wilhelm).

I'm a bit surprised that it wasn't linked to a Zen master. I'm sure if someone did the research they could find similar sentiments in Buddhist dharma.

At some point, we just need to accept that there will always be people, situations, challenges, injustices, even weather that we cannot change. It truly is Wisdom (with a capital "W") to know the difference.

I particularly like this passage in the longer version of the prayer:

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.

I think this points to the underlying sentiment of the Noble Truths. The Buddha said "Life is suffering," but the story doesn't end there. It's not the fatalistic suggestion that we should all hang up our hats and just accept our lot in life. There is a way to end suffering... but we can only begin by accepting that it exists, by appreciating one day... one moment at a time.

Diamond Banner

Angry? In hell? Feel like giving up?

Once a month, Still Point posts one of our guiding teacher's dharma talks. The talk given at last week's service is now available online.

P'arang talks about tension in the air. Still Point is going through changes. July will be her last month as our guiding teacher, and people aren't happy about it. Some of us just know that we will miss her terribly when she leaves. Others are just mad about it or mad about other things.

It's no fun going through life with everyone mad at you. She spoke to this and introduced me to a character from the Flower Ornament Sutra named Diamond Banner and the Ten Dedications:

“Children of Buddhas!” he shouts. “Great enlightening beings have made inconceivable great vows, filling the cosmos, (which are able) to save all sentient beings!”

Then he lists their dedications: 

  1. Dedication to saving ALL sentient beings
  2. Indestructible dedication
  3. Dedication equal to all Buddhas
  4. Dedication to reaching all places
  5. Dedication to inexhaustible treasures of virtue
  6. Dedication causing all roots of goodness to endure
  7. Dedication equally adapting to all sentient beings
  8. Dedication with the character of completely real and sincere
  9. Dedication unattached, unbound and liberated
  10. Boundless dedication equal to the cosmos.

There are great enlightenment beings dedicated to causing all roots of goodness to endure. With so much beneficent assistance, I guess I can do my part.