Time spent in idle chit chat
When I think of "idle chit chat," I think about gossip, small talk, all those little conversations we have that don't particularly add value to our lives. When I think of "idle chit chat," I think "time wasted." Today, I wasted some time complaining about a situation at work. It was a futile conversation, because I wasn't talking to the person who could actually make a difference. I think that is a fundamental criterion for idle chit chat. It is not a bad idea to lodge a complaint. That is what the Civil Rights Movement was about. That is what Ghandhi did. But not me. Not today. I am seeing a pattern of this going on at work. It just perpetuates the drama. Instead of mustering the courage to confront the issues head on, I remain in the background... I try to stay off the radar... and instead of being proactive, I complain.
Particular resistance(s) to my practice
This morning was a little better. While I didn't get up at 5:00, I improved by 15 minutes today and got up at 5:15. I had a hard time doing prostrations this morning. Last night I did aerobics and cardio conditioning... something I have neglected for a long time. I was just tired this morning. I am tired now, trying to complete this journal entry. I need to make sure I get enough sleep if I am going to continue this practice. I am just exhausted right now.
What troubled me most today
I could write a book about the things that are going on at work. To keep it brief, I am troubled most today by my supervisor's lack of integrity. I understand the need to be responsible to one's children, but we must also be responsible to the people who employ us, the customers who need us, the tasks we say that we'll complete.
What made me happy today
This practice is hard but I am sticking with it. Last week, practice waned. I spent the week taking care of things for my parents and spending time with my father at the hospital. I didn't sleep much, so I didn't wake up much for practice. This week, it is better. I'm doing this. It feels good.