Four Points of Reflection

Time spent in idle chit chat

I ate lunch with a friend today. We talked about a mutual friend who is often distant and aloof. We theorized about her, analyzed her behavior, believed we knew everything there was to know about why she is the way she is. Thinking about the conversation now reminds me of something I read in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. We must be loyal to those who are absent. How much time do we spend talking about each other in secret? How much energy do we expend dissecting each other like dead animals, pouring into each other our curiosities and hypotheses as if our relationships were scientific experiments versus matters of the heart. The conversation reminded me why we (the general, collective "we") don't trust each other.

Particular resistance(s) to my practice

Prostrations are still hard. Unfortunately, that doesn't change overnight. My thighs feel tight and overworked. I had to strain to walk at times during the day. But that is just the physical side effect of sticking with it.

It was hard to sit this morning. After prostrations, at first it is easy because the body is trying to cool down. It wants to find a rhythm in its breath. It wants to sit still after so much activity. Then, at around the 15 minute mark, the body is tired of sitting. It wants the damned alarm to sound indicating that the 20 minute practice period is over. I have a countdown timer I use to keep myself in integrity about how long I sit. The guidelines request 20-30 minutes, and I want to make sure I'm not cheating, so I time myself. This morning, I set the countdown timer for 20 minutes then I forgot to press start. Thirty minutes later, my body seemed to know it had been sitting longer than 20 minutes. It had enough. I opened my eyes, picked up the timer and looked. My body was right. It was well past 20 minutes, and it was done.

What troubled me most today

It troubles me how easy it is to talk about people with pseudo-intellectual psychobable thrown in to boot. There was no compassion in our conversation today, just judgment. I ask myself, who will I be next time I'm in the middle of a conversation like that? Will I be the same? Will I try to be more compassionate? Will I remember this journal entry?

What made me happy today

I went to Curriculum Night at my daughter's school. It provides an opportunity for teachers to explain the rules and routines of the classroom. Parents are provided with a window into their child's day-to-day activities and have opportunities to ask questions. It was informative.

When I went into her classroom and sat at her desk, I found that she wrote me a letter. She is concerned about how easy her school work has been. She articulated herself very well in her journal entry. She makes me proud. Not just because she does well in school, but because of who she is becoming... strong, powerful, smart, patient, fun-loving, endearing. I love my daughter.